


Poisonous Water (DreamNotFound)

by Cathartic Pain (arsenicarose)



Series: DreamNotFound HURT Fics [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Beating, Blackmail, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depression, Drowning, Fear, Forbidden Love, Forced Prostitution, Forced Voyuerism, Gang Rape, George POV, GeorgeNotFound POV, Glass in Sandals, Graphic Depictions of Drowning, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Heavy Angst, Heterosexism, Homophobia, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Happy, Ostracism, Piss in Bed, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Ending, Sex Work, Suicide Attempt, Torment, Torture, Trauma, Unhappy Ending, Whipping, lashing, no slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsenicarose/pseuds/Cathartic%20Pain
Summary: George and Dream escape to sea, desperate for freedom to be themselves. Instead, they find themselves on a homophobic pirate ship, stealing whatever comfort they can.But it will never be enough.(THIS IS NOT A HAPPY FIC! IT IS TRIGGERING AND TRAGIC! PLEASE READ ALL TAGS!!!!!!!!!!)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: DreamNotFound HURT Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051328
Comments: 28
Kudos: 85





	Poisonous Water (DreamNotFound)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm serious! This is fucked up shit! I want you to read it, but I want you to be okay too. <3

I hate the ocean. So much water, but all of it poisonous, with far too much salt. An undrinkable hellscape. They told us that on the first day, and laughed at our horrified faces, or laughed at mine. I didn’t dare look at him to see his reaction.

Through all those awful days, trying not to throw up into the toxic waves, back-breaking labor, and the awful rumors, he was what got me through. Dream. It was the worst thing we could do, and somehow we didn’t care. Finding company, even love, in each other, late at night. The long sea voyage had done nothing to assuage our passion. We, well I, thought the pirate life, with women and wine and manliness, would ‘cure’ us of our tendencies, but it hadn’t. All pirate life is to us is long periods of time on a boat in the virulent ocean with only rough, rude men for company. 

We had nowhere else to go though. When my parents found out about me, they made it very clear that if they found me, they would have me put to death, and Dream too. He had thought pirates would be understanding of our proclivities, even as I was trying to suppress them, but both of us were wrong.

He had it easier though. He was already buff, born working hard. I was kicked out of a wealthy home and had never worked before. It was hard to build muscles from nothing, and the other pirates hated me for it. They told me all the time. He was their favorite, I was the black sheep. At least it matched my hair.

“Get back to work, you bilge-sucking swab!” someone calls from a part of the ship that is higher than I am. I don’t bother to look, or he might throw something at my face. I stop gazing out at the crashing waves and get back to ‘swabbing the deck.’ It is a punishment they give me daily, and it is nearly impossible. Waves hit the deck all the time, especially when I am cleaning. Whoever is steering makes sure to hit the water at every opportunity, so I have to keep going all day.

I always wonder why they keep me. I don’t dare ask, but I don’t do any actual work really, besides carrying the occasional cargo. I constantly worry they will keelhaul me, or worse, like they always threaten. So far, I have only been a nuisance.

When night falls, I am allowed to stop, with a lovely reminder that I am going to keep going tomorrow, “Until it shines like my mum’s arse!” the captain chortles. So every day until I’m dead, they tire of me, or I finally get the courage to leave of my own volition.

I slide exhausted into my hammock, but I don’t dare fall asleep. If I do, I will miss him. About fifteen minutes of fighting looming exhaustion later, Dream comes. He visits me every night that he can. He whispers love into my ear, kisses me, holds me for just a moment, and is gone. I wish for more, long for those nights spent in my room at home, with hours alone to do as we pleased. I am glad to get this much, though.

~~~

The next morning, I am woken up way too early as usual. I rub my eyes and push myself out of my hammock. The mop is in my hands before the order is given to me, “Swab the decks, don’t stop until they’re done.” I nod weakly, and start.

I spend the entire day, as usual, mopping up and down in columns, slowly going across the whole deck until I get to an end. Then I turn back and start over. It is incredibly tedious, so I distract myself with tales of splendor. Living with him in a huge mansion with butlers and servants and a charming cook. Some days, I am female, and he is my strapping husband. Other days, like today, I am his husband, and he is mine, and everyone is okay with it. These days make me feel brave. Not like I would normally do anything with it, but the feeling is there.

At the end of my day working, the story I used to entertain myself has become rather inappropriate, and I am swelling with desire. I want to surprise Dream today. I want to kiss him in his hammock and touch him there. I want to give him my need, and maybe we can satisfy each other. This detrimental thought rules over all others.

He visits me in my hammock as usual, a light kiss tonight, and I swell even more. We hadn’t docked in far too many weeks (the ship and me). I wait for a long time, and after I am sure everyone is asleep, I creep over to him. He has a better spot than me because he is better liked, which means I have to be extra cautious.

When I get to his cot, I take a moment to look at him. I am amazed that he wanted me like I wanted him. In sleep, his face is relaxed, no coy grin, no frustration, no concern. It makes him even more fantastic. Fair curls caress his forehead and cascade around his face. He is on his back, one arm under his head, one hanging off the side, and I can see all of him, all one clean line of delicious muscle and skin. Everything, except my favorite part, his green eyes. I want to see them when I kiss him.

I sneak over and gently tap his shoulder. He rouses slowly, no worry, no hurry, but I put my finger to my lips. I don’t dare make the noise to shush him, though. Luckily, he is smart, and doesn’t say anything as his easy smile slides into place. I kiss him heavily, and touch him there. He gives a playful, although pained, glare, as he swells too. We can’t do anything here, but he knows I have been thinking of him, in every way. He knows I am finally accepting us, like he always did. Absence from his touch has let me believe it isn’t a sick craving, it is love. It isn’t just his parts I think of constantly, but our conversations, our affection, us.

I hurry back to my hammock, mission successful. That night, I sleep well, with a smile on my face.

~~~

The following morning, I am allowed to sleep in. When I wake up, the sun is far from the horizon. I am instantly very worried. I slip out of bed as fast as I can, hoping no one has noticed, and go out to get my trusty mop. It is where it belongs, but no one else is. Most of the crew, including Dream, is waiting on deck. Well, bollocks.

“You stayed in bed way too late, blaggard. We can’t have a slacking hand, so we have to teach you a lesson,” the captain says. 

Oh no, why? They had always woken me up before! I start to panic, as he saunters over to me. 

He leans toward me, and hisses into my ear, “This is where I give you quiet instructions on how to accept your beating with dignity. You know how that goes. No one else knows about what you did last night, and they won’t, for now. This is your warning. Don’t let it happen again.” The ‘or else’ hangs in the air as I prepare to take my punishment. Shock rings through my body as I realize what he meant. Who had seen?

~~~

The captain overestimated what I could take. I passed out after only seven lashes. They still gave me the full ten. I woke up where I had fallen. They hadn’t bothered to take me to my bed. My mind swims and my back screams. I can’t deal with any of it now, so I go to my hammock and pass out. At least they didn’t expect me to mop.

I wake up the next morning right as the sun is rising. Sometime while I was out, my wounds were tended to. My back is stiff and sore, but also sort of numb. I thank heaven, earth, and Dream for that. They will expect me to work today. I will need to make up for yesterday.

I get out early, and start work immediately. I don’t make eye contact with anyone, just in case it is Dream. I don’t want to see his eyes creased with sadness, or worse, pity. He probably knows why I was lashed. It wasn’t exactly a small coincidence.

~~~

He did know. He doesn’t visit my bed anymore, and I don’t blame him. It still hurts. We have been avoiding each other since the whipped. The captain approves. He probably assumed something about my sex interests from my inability to work. Pansies make the best gay men, is the thought. Since the beating, I worked harder than ever, and he started to ease a little, thinking I had learned my lesson. He even let me do other work, like checking nets, fixing sails, and sword practice, under heavy supervision. He thought he had beaten the queerness right out of me.

He hadn’t. I was just scared now. I knew it was policy before, but now it was fact. And no matter how much my back hurt, how slow it healed, and how much he avoided me now, I still loved Dream, and I wanted him with all of my body and soul.

~~~

Time passed, and things were forgotten. I was more and more part of the crew, though I knew they would never accept me. They even told me this time that we would be making port soon before we docked, thank god.

Dream and I still hadn’t spoken, though it had been a couple of months by now. We would grunt hello, to assuage suspicion, and that was all. 

When we finally could go ashore, I made a beeline for the whore house. All the men laughed. One even called, “Quite the dry spell, eh laddie?” I didn’t bother to answer, let them assume.

I didn’t want to sleep with anyone but Dream, but my urges were growing unbearable, and I knew brothels always had a ‘backdoor selection’ of oddities. I went straight to the Madam, and asked for a special. I didn’t know the terms, so I just whispered, “A man, please,” in her ear. She didn’t react, and said next time I came to any brothel just ask for a special order with sausage. “Thanks,” I replied, blushing.

The sex was not that good, but it was better than nothing, a lot better. I used every moment of that hour, and he was mildly impressed by the end. I thanked him, gave him a tip, and left as quietly as I could.

On the way to the door, I ran into Henry, one of the crew. “‘Ay, watch where you're going,” he said, but not too mean-heartedly. “In a rush to leave your wench behind?” He looked back at the door I had come from. “Was she that bad?”

The world slowed to a crawl as the man I had just slept with slid out of the room. Henry’s eyes widened as he figured it out, and his face spread with a lecherous grin. “I knew you was one of those,” he whispered. Oh god, I was definitely doomed now, the captain had given me one chance, and now I was ruined for sure. I couldn’t even escape, I was cornered, and Henry was faster. Could I even leave Dream?

“Please, please, don’t tell!” I begged, barely not on my knees.

“What's in it for me?” he asked.

“Anything, anything you want. Anything I can give you! Please!” I was trying not to shout, but I was becoming hysterical. I didn’t want to die.

“’Right. Here’s how it is. You do what I say, unless Cap’n says otherwise. You’re mine now, got it?” Henry’s eyes flashed with ideas, and I became more and more worried.

“Alright,” I conceded, no negotiation. He had all the cards anyway.

“Alright, sir!” He corrected, raising his hand for a slap.

“Alright, sir!” I repeated immediately. His grin spread. Oh god no, he was going to torment me for sure.

~~~

A month later, he did have fun with me. After I had fallen asleep, he came for me. It was late, and pitch black. Snores chorused around me, and he shoved me roughly. I was awake instantly. “Git up,” he hissed. I didn’t think about it, because he seemed heated. “Follow me.”

We walked away from the sleeping quarters to the storage area. The boxes would be a good cover. I would have to remember this for later. Maybe Dream and I could… Oh. 

Henry doesn’t ask when he takes me. I am still half asleep, and it wakes me up with a jolt. I didn’t honestly expect this, though I should have. I don’t believe that he is into men per say, but he wants sex, more sex than he could get from the random docking we did. It didn’t last long, he probably wanted it over as much as I did.

When he finishes, he just leaves. I wait for a bit, make sure he is gone, and then I return to the sleeping quarters. I go to sleep slowly, as my brain processes what had just happened. I decide to deal with it later, I have to work tomorrow.

It becomes a haphazard tradition. Some nights, I would sleep all the way through, some nights, I would not. After a few encounters, others joined him. I became a secret release passed around specific parts of the crew. Henry always showed up for the first time with someone new. He would introduce the rules and tell me this was another I had to listen to like I did for him. I suspected there were deals with money, and a schedule, but I wasn’t involved. All that mattered was they wouldn’t tell the captain, and I wouldn’t either. It was an awful arrangement, but it was better than the alternative.

One night, Henry came with Dream. I locked eyes with my love for the first time in far too long, and I saw my pain reflected in them. I wished he didn’t pity me. Henry explained the rules, and Dream cringed. He had known about the sexual release bitch, but he hadn’t known it was me, or he hadn’t admitted it to himself.

Henry left, as usual, and Dream pulled me to the back corner of the storage room. I hoped that he would just take me and leave. I wished nothing more than that. He didn’t. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. 

“Oh Dream, it has all gone wrong,” I whimpered.

“Shhh, shhh. It will be okay. I am here,” he soothed, stroking away the months of hurt.

“It won’t be okay! I am their little whore, and I am breaking down. Cap’n will find out eventually, and then where will I be!” I whispered, trying to keep my voice down.

“We will figure something out, we always do.” 

I started to calm down as he stroked my hair and hummed a sweet tune. “Oh Dream, Let’s go far away. Somewhere where the captain won’t be mad.” 

He doesn’t reply for a moment, a long drawn out pause that worries me. Had he moved on? “Maybe the next time we dock we can escape together,” he muses.

“Wait really?” I can’t believe it, he does care!

“MAYBE. I don’t know. How will we survive? Who will take us in? And your arrangement,” he spits out that word, he is furious the arrangement exists. Does he blame himself? “with Henry really complicates things. Would he let you go?”

“I know, I know. It is so much.” I fight back tears, fueled by exhaustion and hopelessness. “We deserve so much better than this,” I whisper.

“I know.”

“Let me love you, while we have this chance. Please?” I need to have love in my life again, even if it is just a tease.

He pauses. I have been with many men since we were last together. He sees the need in my eyes though, and we connect again.

~~~

I still get taken every night, but now Dream is in the rotation. It makes things much more bearable. Sometimes, I can’t do it with him. It feels like I am being taken by any man in rotation and I don’t want that for us. Other times, I need him, I cling to him and drink up his love. Either way, he is calm and understanding. He can’t be angry; he knows that I am doing this for both of us, that I am sacrificing so much for him. He still doesn’t like it, but he can’t stop it either. If the captain finds out, I’m dead, and if they find out about Dream, he’s dead too.

Now that we get together again, he and I have to repress our love even more in front of the crew. He keeps me together and I want to gift him kisses as I walk by, but that would be the worst thing I could do. Sometimes, I wink, but that is all. We try to get all of the companionship out in our visits. Once, when I winked at him, I was sure Henry saw, but he didn’t say anything at the time. I stopped winking after that. I realized I was dancing on a thin line.

~~~

Henry started bringing more than one man at a time on some nights. They would surround me and take me from all directions. It was a lot harder than one on one, and those nights left me exhausted for a lot longer than the others.

One night, Henry was drunk and mean, and he brought Dream to watch. I didn’t think he could have gotten our relationship from that one wink, but maybe he had been watching us on Dream’s night of the rotation.

After that encounter, Dream’s nights started coming less and less often, and Henry made him watch more and more. Dream was good and never showed any emotion, but I had trouble. Sometimes tears would come.

None of that mattered on Dream’s night though. As it was rarer now, our love making became more and more desperate. We were both becoming frayed, especially now that Dream was being attacked as well. Luckily, it was nothing more than forced voyeurism.

Then, there was a period where Dream didn’t get a night for an entire month. When his time finally came, I almost burst into tears. We rushed to the spot, already mostly undressed, and we began. We kissed and held each other. We had no need for sex today, we just needed comfort. We were so wrapped up in each other that we didn’t hear Henry coming.

“Ha, I gotcha you filthy pansy! I knew you were in it for more than the release!” Henry grabbed me by my collar and yanked me up off the ground. “If you so much as look at this swab again, I won’t tell Cap’n, I’ll just kill you!” He was furious, spitting raging all over my face. “It’s one thing to wanna do men, but trying to seduce them! That is vile!” He beats me then. Dream tries to stop him, but it is my burden to bear.

No one asks the next morning. Not even the captain.

~~~

It takes all my energy to not look at Dream. I am always afraid that someone will see. I wish I could speak to him, just for a moment, so I could plan with him. The next port would come and go soon if we didn’t come up with something, but Henry had me terrified.

The rotation got worse. The people who came sometimes didn’t only take me, they would beat me too. Some were worse than others, Henry being the worst, of course. The next day, no one would say or do anything on my behalf, and working got harder and harder. I didn’t know what they had told the captain, but he was turning a blind eye to all of it. 

I knew Dream wasn’t getting beaten, and that was all that mattered. If I had to die for him, I would be okay with that, but I would never want him to die for me. I could guess that it was killing him to watch me though. I never cried out in pain, I didn’t dare make any noise at all, but it was obvious to anyone watching me.

Henry decided it wasn’t enough though. Apparently he wanted me to react or die or something, and I hadn’t really, so he started making my life a living hell. One night when I got back to my hammock, I saw it was full of piss. It became a regular thing for a time, so I started sleeping on the floor.

They put glass in my sandals once. I was going to go out barefoot instead, but Henry shoved me against a wall and growled in my face. He said if I didn’t wear them, they would make Dream pay. I was furious they would use my feelings against me, but I wore those sandals, and passed out on the deck.

That punishment was only a one-time thing. The captain wasn’t okay with that much torture because it made it impossible for me to get work done. The beatings still happen, but at least there were some boundaries. Eventually, my feet heal, thankfully, but that punishment had hurt more than anything.

Days pass slowly and nights pass slower still. Some of the less angry pirates on the ship started to feel bad for me a long time ago and had let up, but Henry was still just as furious about me ‘seducing’ Dream. They didn’t blame him and I wouldn’t let him take any of it, because there was no reason for him to have to deal with this too.

~~~

I reached my breaking point. I planned to off myself last night, jump into the poisonous blue and escape the pain. I wrote a letter to my beloved Dream, begging him to forgive me for my weakness. It hurt too much to continue, especially without at least being with him.

I gently slid the letter into the hand resting on his chest. He was so peaceful when he slept; I took a moment to drink in his appearance one more time. I turned to leave when a tear started to escape from my eye. I hoped he wouldn’t miss me too much. Maybe he could even get out of here and get through life. He had always been better at hiding.

I stand at the edge, hand on the wood, looking into the deep, dark waves. They are relatively calm, gently rocking the boat, like a lullaby, or a promise. They want to rock me into an eternal sleep, so inviting. I scramble up the only barrier left between me and death when I hear him.

“George, stop!” Dream calls, desperation clinging to his voice. I turn to face him, and I see the pain in his eyes, the pain he had been hiding for all these weeks.

“I can’t, Dream, I can’t do it anymore!” I am crying, letting out all of what I had been holding in as well.

“But I can’t live without you!” He looks hysterical, and I have never seen him like this.

“Your life can be so much better without me, though!” I start to turn back to the water.

He grabs me and pulls me into his arms. It is the first time he has held me in so long. He turns me around, cradles my head in his gentle hands, and kisses me. His lips brush my ear, and he whispers, “No I can’t. I love you too much. I know it has been hard, I know, and I am more sorry than you will ever realize. But I love you, and we can get through this. We will escape at the next docking, which is in just a few days. I have been saving up some money. We can rent a horse and get far, far away from wherever we land, and find a way to live together. We will find two women who are in love like we are, they have to exist somewhere, and we will marry them and all live together. Then every night we can sleep on a bed with each other and we can be happy! We will find a way.” He is clinging to me as he says this. I can feel his tears staining my collar. We stand there, wrapped up in each other for a long time, before I separate us. 

“Follow me.” I say it so quietly, I don’t know if he heard, but I drag him along anyway.

I lead him to a tiny hidden corner of the ship, a part where no one ever goes. I pull him into the tiny cubby hole and hold him. We curl into each other’s warmth and fall asleep.

~~~

The captain finds us. Both of our hammocks had been suspiciously empty in the morning. Since the Captain knew that I had kissed Dream before, he expected to find me holding him hostage. Instead he found Dream’s arms wrapped around me, and me sleeping on his chest. He was furious.

“Get up you disgusting blighters!” he growled, prodding us with his sheathed sword. 

I jump first, more used to the rude awakenings. Dream wakes up slowly, not understanding the severity of the situation. 

We both move too slowly for the captain’s liking, so he unsheathes the sword and threatens us with it. “Get UP!”

I hop up and pull Dream with me. When he sees the bare sword, his perfect eyes widen in fear. “Oh bollocks.”

I look across the ocean of faces, most holding anger or disgust. Then I lock eyes with Henry, and all I see is shock and pity. Did he see now Dream and I had been in it together?

“You nasty rats have been doing a disgusting thing together, and you know the punishment. Tie them up!” The captain calls the orders out to no one in particular, but a couple men grab rope and get to work. They push us down and tie our hands behind our back. My wrists hurt, and I hope they didn’t tie up Dream’s hands as tight as mine.

I feel myself giving up to the inevitable, but then I see Dream. He is just terrified, unable to fight because of sheer disbelief and fear. I can save him. They start to lead us to the side of the boat, the same side I almost jumped from last night. 

I scream, “Wait!” Everyone turns to look at me, incredibly surprised, as I had never raised my voice before, through all of the things they had put me through. “Please, leave him alone. I seduced him, just like you thought. I begged him to lie next to me tonight, I didn’t want to sleep alone anymore. He was thinking about a woman he knows from back home. He doesn’t want me like that. It was all me.”

“No, he didn’t.” Dream looks resolute, though fear still streaks his eyes. “He didn’t ‘seduce’ me. I love him.” He turns to me, and says, “I love you. I won’t hide anymore. We do this together, like we should have all along.”

“Please, no!” He could live, be happy. “Dream, you don’t need me!” He shakes his head, and I can finally see it. He couldn’t be happy, he never would be happy without me, no matter how much I wished it for him, so I reply, “I love you, too.”

We are at the side of the boat now, the water is a lot less calm than last night. 

They push us over, and we scream as we fall. The water rushes to greet us. It is delighted to see me; it had expected to meet me last night. I turn to him and we make eye contact. I look into his eyes until I hit the water.

I kick my legs to try and keep afloat, but I am still so sore from the beatings. I see him fighting too, but we won’t last long. We sink after only a few minutes, the frigid water seizing our legs, making it so we can’t move. I watch him fight his body, try to make it work, and fail. I know because I am fighting the same battle, and I lose too.

I can almost see him through the translucent blue. I wiggle my body, trying to get close to him, and he starts to do the same, but it is nearly impossible to swim with tied arms and frozen legs. We are only a foot away from each other when I start to black out.

We always wanted to be together, through it all. I wish that the captain hadn’t hated us. I wish that when we had found out that he meant it, we had been able to get off the boat and escape before it had come to this. I wish that we had gotten the life that we wanted so badly. We deserved so much better than we’ve had, but at least we’ll be together on the bed of the ocean. It’s as close to our dream as we can ever get.

**Author's Note:**

> Just, fyi, this came to me after listening to Gay Pirates by Cosmo Jarvis. It's not meant to be historically accurate lol. It's meant to be fucked up and sad.


End file.
